He just couldn't tell her
by DearCarlisle
Summary: Takes place in Breaking Dawn part 1, Edward had just called to announce that Bella is pregnant. Carlisle struggles with telling Esme about it. Better than it sounds :D


(This takes place in Breaking Dawn, Bella and Edward just arrived from their honeymoon, and Bella found out she was pregnant.)

Carlisle was on the phone, speaking to Edward, who had just called. He walked through the house hectically, and he didn't talk to someone, he just listened to Edward, serious. The family was hunting, so just Carlisle and Esme were home. Usually, they would spent this time differently, just have some quality time together. But the phone call had interrupted. Carlisle was now even more serious, but this time, standing in the living room, Esme on the couch, confused and worried about what happened. He and back the phone. He looked unsure, like he was still debating in his head. Esme stood up, walking towards him, stopping, to look him right in the eyes.

"Carlisle? What happened?"

Esme sounded desperate, because she instantly saw worry on Carlisle's face. Her voice was so confident, but he just couldn't tell her. The memories would haunt her, again, even though she just learned how to deal with those. So he just said nothing, he walked away to leave her with a face that he'd never seen before, even in their 90 years of marriage, a face that could not be described. It was hurt, offended and broken. She looked desperate, like something had just torn her heart apart. And he knew it was because of him leaving, he had never done this, not once, he always respected her, answered all her questions, he would do everything for her.

But this time he just couldn't, he could never hurt her like this message would do. He walked fast, just trying to escape from her. And she just stood there, in complete shock, not knowing what to do, and then something in her expression changed, anger came up, and she walked after him, determined to hear what he was hiding from her. Then he began running through the house, until he reached their bedroom, he stopped and walked in. Her only some steps away. She still followed him, even if he wanted to be alone right now, she was worried, and kind of angry that Carlisle had not told her what's going on.

He sat there on their bed, his face in his hands, like he was miles away in his mind, thinking about something. She walked up to him, standing right in front of him, looking down to him, folding her arms. "Carlisle?", she asked friendly, but he didn't react. She asked again "Carlisle!" this time in an angry tone. He finally looked up, just looking into her eyes. "Carlisle, what happened?", she started "…and why did you run away from me?", finishing her question in a sad tone. "Esme, I…", he went on "I…just didn't know what to say, and I can't do it now..". She watched him, the anger growing inside her again. "What is it? Carlisle, I just don`t know what you are worried about, just. Tell. Me!" She was shouting at him now, and he was cringing at every word, she has never shouted at him that way.

"Esme…you don't understand, I want to protect you, I know that this thing would break you, that you would never be the same again" He stood up, touching her cheek, feeling her soft skin under his fingers, but she backed off, not letting him touch her. "Carlisle!, Tell. ME!" she turned around, not being able to face him. This situation was so surreal to her, she never thought she would have such a situation with Carlisle, ever. Holding back her tears she just faced the wall. Then he got up, getting closer to her, trying to slip his hands around her waist, but she didn't let him, she walked a step, turning to face him again, reproachful. His look broke her heart, he begged for her to forgive him, to just forget. But she couldn't.

Carlisle never acted like that, and she knew it had to be something very important. Then he started "Esme, can you just forget this?, please….you just have to….I beg you…." She started screaming at him again "Carlisle! It can't be that bad! Tell me! I can't stand you anymore! You never acted like that, JUST! TELL! ME! "And so he did. Not being able to stand up to her anymore he started "Something happened, on the honeymoon…." She just looked at him, with no expression "Edward just called me, telling me that Bella doesn't feel good, she threw up this morning, her stomach hurts and she just felt something in it." Esme just looked at him in complete shock, she knew all these symptoms from her human pregnancy. She looked like she was about to cry. He finished "You know what these symptoms mean, do you? Bella…you know…she…she…is…""Pregnant."

Esme finished the sentence, then she just didn't listen to him anymore, she just faded out what Carlisle said after that. She already knew it. Her daughter-in-law…was…pregnant…a child…that was everything she always wished for, and now Bella got it…her biggest dream came true…but not for her. She just wanted to cry, cry all her heart out, never talk to anyone again…and so she ran, ran away into the forest, never stopping, she didn't look back. Carlisle stood there, collapsing at the thought what he just did. He told her. He told the love of his life the thing that would break her, forever. And then he stood up, searching her. He ran through the house, calling her desperately. Then he searched through the forest, always hunting for her scent, the scent of warm vanilla, lavender and cinnamon, his favorite smell. He searched everywhere, but he could not find her. He started panicking. He called her name, louder this time, and full of worry. And then he got it, the smell he was searching for.

He followed it until he reached it, a small meadow, in the middle of the forest. He had never seen this place before. And there she was, huddled up, sobbing. He'd never seen her like this before. She looked so broken, shattered, like a million pieces. She didn't mention him, he walked to her, she never looked up. He sank next to her, trying to make her look at him, but she didn't. She stared onto the ground, still sobbing, shaking. He took her, carrying her in his arms, flipping her to let her cuddle into his arms, she instantly relaxed, sinking onto his chest, inhaling his scent. She slowly calmed down, now being able to speek. "Carlisle? Is this…is…" He interrupted.

"Esme….darling..shhhh…shhh…don't speak…"She managed to lift her head up, now looking him right in the eyes. "But Carlisle…Is this….what is this baby? Is Bella fine?" She rested her head back down again, thinking of it, she started sobbing again. Carlisle took a finger, slowly lifting her chin up so that he could look her in the eyes. "Esme, love, if you want to talk, you know that you can tell me everything…" Her eyes went over his face, recognizing every of his features. She looked into his eyes again "Carlisle, I know , and I just don't know what to think or say, all this just reminds me of my little William, his cute blue eyes, and the last time I looked into his eyes." She couldn't finish the last sentence, breaking out into sobs again. "Shhh…Esme, you're the love of my life, I love you so much…I'm always there for you, whatever you do or don't want to do…Shhhh….you're safe."

Now he was rocking her lightly, trying to calm her down, bring her to other thoughts. And it worked, some minutes later, she was just lying on his lap, her small head resting on his big arm, that supported her so perfectly. She looked at him, waiting for him to look back. And he did, he looked right into her eyes, right into her soul, and so did she. And they sat like this for what seemed like days. Esme soon fell asleep, although she wasn't really sleeping, she was just so calm, you couldn't see a difference.

Then, Carlisle managed to stand up, carrying her home carefully. He rested her onto their bed. Laying next to her. Everything was fine again.


End file.
